Finding my balance

I thought the herons were gone for the summer. The yellow-crested night ones that had been visiting my backyard. I had not seen them in weeks, and I imagined them on their way, migrating somewhere else. Yesterday after a big storm, they reappeared…happy as clams, hadn’t gone anywhere. This is a reminder to me that I don’t always know what is going to happen (surprise!) and that often what I think to be true, isn’t true at all. Perhaps if not for the storm yesterday, I would have continued in my mistaken belief that they had migrated, when in fact they would probably have just been hanging out on the other side of the fence, where the stream flows. What I know as ‘truth’ may be quite relative or in fact, just an illusion, a misperception.

Herons also are reminders to me of balance. They are birds of balance, achieving their balance through inherent grace, fluidity and slow purposeful movements. I often observe them, necks stretched out, on one foot, patiently observing the object of their desire (worms or some other such critter), thoughtful and poised until it is the time for decision making and they are swift and decisive. Patience, thoughtfulness and purposefull are the words that reach out to me…a means for me to find my balance.

All of this rambling is because I am very out of balance. I have been obsessing over a work situation – and whether to leave or to stay. Feeling very chaotic and indecisive, yet wanting to make an immediate decision…like NOW. But what I really need to make that decision is soft stillness and quiet. Perhaps even avoiding thinking about it for a while and just getting still. Letting go of the need to do it ‘right’ or make the ‘perfect’ decision (including of course of all the future scenarios and how I can best make them all turn out perfectly – definitely need to let go of that). So this morning I have been doing some reading on guidance, for guidance is what I need and through these readings and the heron’s reminder I am guided to get still. To let go. To find my balance. I believe I then will be guided to whatever decision is ‘right’ for me right now. The challenge can be getting to that still place and trusting the guidance when I can then hear it.