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Post Christmas Blues

So, it is interesting having post christmas blues of a different sort this year. It is also interesting to see, and be detached from, the hurry and flurry of the holiday season. I really feel like I didn’t participate in the holiday at all this year. We did spend Christmas Eve with Aunt Lenore and that was great, but it didn’t feel much like Christmas, as I didn’t engage in any of my usual Christmas preparations -shopping or making gifts, listening to carols and singing them too, gift giving and receiving….. I feel a little sadness about that – but nothing profound. More so, it makes me want to further remove myself from this holiday that has become one of materialism – and find another way to celebrate family and life – the turning of winter solstice. Hmm, reflection for another year as I continue to find my way and peace with the changes that occur with each new season. Perhaps next year I will do something completely different, or perhaps I will return to tradition. But whatever I do – I want it to be out of the spirit of materialism. I REally liked not being under the stress of shopping and finding the “right” gift – I only bought ONE gift this year! That was pretty great. And I found that the  most important part of my day was getting to talk to all of my family (well almost) and sending and receiving texts and emails from those I love. That is what made the holiday special for me, and made it feel somewhat like a holiday. It was also nice not to experience the holiday letdown – all the hustle and bustle and preparation and then the day is over. Nice not to feel that pressure.

No, my post holiday blues are of a different sort. Ugur is now back in Nashville and I am facing the reality of 3 months without my very best friend. I know we will be fine and will talk every day, but it certainly puts me in the perspective of realization of exactly how much he means to me and how much the simple interactions of our daily lives are so important to me. I am a fortunate woman for his love. I am also fortunate that he is so supportive of me, and can help me through this transition. I think it will be a period of change and discovery, and if I am not as eager for the change as I was, I still think in the long run it will be a good experience, and one I will be glad I did not pass up. But, oh, I do wish he were still here!!!

Raton gave the blessing of a white christmas evening – yesterday it was snowing as I went to work, and I came home in a winter wonderland. And wonders of all wonders – I didn’t freak out driving in the snow. (mostly because not many people had driven on it yet and it was just packed snow). It might be a different story going in to work tonight, but hopefully the roads will be pretty clear.

walking in a winter wonderland…>!


One Response

  1. Neat that you got to have a white Christmas! Sorry to hear that you have the post Christmas blues… it can be hard when you are used to having certain traditions and then not to have them. I must say I am envious of the not shopping. I’m not overly fond of shopping and at 31 wks don’t really want to! But I must say that I really enjoyed shopping for Lily, wondering what her reaction to toys would be. That was what really made my holiday, watching Lily.

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