• Current Reading List

    Peaceful Action, Open Heart - Thich Nhat Hanh*** Eat, Pray, Love*** Peaceful Living - Mary Mackenzie(daily reader)*** The Vein of Gold - Julia Cameron (this is a read a chapter a week type book)*** Dubliners - James Joyce*** Nursing: The Philosophy and Science of Caring - Jean Watson*** The Diary of Virginia Woolf. Volume I***
  • Two roads diverged in a yellow wood and I, I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference.

Happy New Year

Wow, it hardly feels like a new year has begun, and yet there are so many new beginnings in my life now – that it doesn’t seem like it should feel so surreal. Life itself recalls me to reality, as I spent the wee hours of the new year helping to bring new life into the world. New life, new beginnings….why do we as humans need a period to begin again, start anew, as we do each new year. I think the period of introspection and reflection and planning that the new year offers gives us a chance to deepen our understanding of ourselves and where we want to be/where we are. I think it doesn’t feel like a new year because typically at this time of year I spend some time reflecting over the year past and making plans/setting hopes (not resolutions) for the year ahead. So I guess I will spend a little time doing that here.

LIfe is so interesting. I am in more of a place of limbo now than I think I have ever been (particularly concerning my professional life), and yet I do feel so very secure and my footing feels solid. I do not know what the near future will hold for me professionally, but I do know that I am loved and I will be taken care of – with that type of certainty, the questions of “what” I will be doing in three months aren’t so scary. I guess I feel a sense of deep trust that I am headed in the right direction, even though I am not exactly certain of where that is.

Which brings me to spirituality. I think that spiritually, I have grown more than ever this year. I was discussing spirituality and religion with a coworker right after Christmas (a time that for many brings up religious issues) and felt good to know that I feel secure in myself and my world spiritually, despite the fact that my beliefs/my path may be different than hers. She was talking about her struggle with faith and frustration with religious systems that are patriarchial and stifling in their closure and rigidness. I remember that struggle, and I think that this is the first year that I haven’t engaged in it. For the last several years my spiritual journey has felt solid and real, leading me to a deeper connection with a higher power, with myself and with my environment (people, earth) rather than prior years where I felt stagnant or wandering in murkiness. I am aware that the spiritual journey, like others, often involves ups and downs and I am grateful where I am now. I am embarking on a study of prayer and meditation – practices I engage in (though recently not as frequently – changes!). I look forward to in this year deepening my faith and connection. What a great way to start of the new year.

As for the year past, so much has happened! I got married!!!, and have felt my relationship with my husband deepen and my love for me continue to grow in new directions. I started a new job, and then started another this past month. I felt I made a difference in a few peoples lives with my work. I got certified in level one reiki.   My dearest friend moved away. Friendships have shifted – some solidifying, others dissolving, others brand new. I continue to move forward in my 12 steps.  I have what feels like a very new relationship with my brother, my friend, and have hopes that the same is occuring with my sister as well.

Oh, and I almost forgot – I finished my Master’s degree. Woohoo. Now that one feels a bit surreal. I used to discount the importance of celebrating the graduation process – ceremonies, and to-dos over graduating, but I think now I understand the relevance and importance of celebrating. I feel intellectually that finishing my masters is a big deal and a big milestone for me, but that feeling hasn’t quite sunk into the rest of my consciousness, as I finished my master’s during this time of recent transition. No fanfares, no congratulation celebrations, no ceremonies – so I am left with a sense of unfullfillment, or rather a sense of unfinishment (yes I think I just made that word up) or a sense of lack of realism that I have actually completed this process that I have been working so very hard for over the last several years. Hmmm.

All that said, I have had a wonderful year and I am really looking forward to all the possibilities ahead.

namaste and happy new year to all.

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2 Responses

  1. It’s nice when you are happy with everythign around you, but it’s all down to you and not some higher entity no matter what you think. This of course is an opinion of mine and not yours, but you are lucky enough to be in a place of happiness at the moment that I hope continues for you for a very long time.

  2. Perhaps you should have some kind of celebration for achieving your Masters to help with that sense of ‘finishment’?

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