• Current Reading List

    Peaceful Action, Open Heart - Thich Nhat Hanh*** Eat, Pray, Love*** Peaceful Living - Mary Mackenzie(daily reader)*** The Vein of Gold - Julia Cameron (this is a read a chapter a week type book)*** Dubliners - James Joyce*** Nursing: The Philosophy and Science of Caring - Jean Watson*** The Diary of Virginia Woolf. Volume I***
  • Two roads diverged in a yellow wood and I, I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference.

Unexpected Grief and Love

Yesterday I was overcome with a grieving of an old circumstance. Oh, it hurt, and its not a comfortable feeling. I have come to a place where I understand the necessity and the relief that comes with allowing grief to release, but I am not comfortable with the release itself. Maybe that will be the next step in my journey. In an al-anon meeting, after much attempting to stifle the tears, I let it pour out, as well as the anger that arises because of my discomfort with the pain.  The support I received, the love, the understanding, was amazing. Women holding the space for me so I could be free to feel, to release and to then grow. There is absolutely nothing in my experience that rivals this feeling of acceptance understanding that occurs in that place. No one tried to  “fix” me, or hush me up or downplay my feelings. They just let it be and said “I heard you”. Wow. One woman shared that while we are taught so many things, like how to drive, how to get married, etc, there is no place where we are taught how to grieve. And yet it happens in that place with those women. So this note is not only in recognition of my grief (which is another tool for its release) but is also to pay homage to the wisdom and support of amazing women. And to rejoice in the grief that frees me to the experience of the present and the love I have here.

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2 Responses

  1. Grief is not comfortable, or easy and many times feels messy and uncontrolled. It’s an individual experience but if we remain open to living, we’ll get through it and come out on the other side.

  2. Thanks for the comment Elaine. Grief is not one of my favorite emotions, but you know it is a necessary one, and the freedom that comes afterwards is well worth the release, but sometimes the release is so hard and so painful that I just want to run away from it – and then this is what happens, eight years later when things are going well the grief looms up and says “can you feel me now?”.

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