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Fear Conquering

I have had a lot of angst regarding taking fitness classes. Social anxiety. It is the number one type of anxiety in the US you know. 7 out of 10 people have it. (that is the teacher talking). I have only ever taken yoga classes and in small studios….except for once at the Y, and the class was so large and I was so over-ridden with shame because I couldn’t do everything “perfectly”. That has been a few years ago. I love yoga, and would also love to take some other classes to mix my fitness up….but getting over this social anxiety has been a bitch.

So this morning I did it. I have been working on this for weeks. The community center by my house offers yoga, zumba, belly dancing, etc…and super super cheap. I can’t do that anywhere else, and money has been one of my “excuses”. So no more excuses. This morning I got up and tried to make excuses not to go. I waffled back and forth for an hour. Finally I got my mat and made it to the gym. In the gym parking lot, I changed my mind and decided I couldn’t do it. I have been having PMS from hell. Literally it has felt like my hormones went to hell in a handbasket and brought back a special little bit of hell just for me. So I went in with a little black thundercloud hanging over my head and jumped on the elliptical. 15 minutes until class. At 2 minutes till I changed my mind. I decided that the only way to get out of my funk would be to do it. I didn’t want another failure. Plus I didn’t want that black cloud hanging around all day. I went out to my car and grabbed my mat and did it!. Woohoo!

I won’t talk about that the instructor was a little wacked. and I think she may have just made up some poses. But, I am going to give her one more shot. Depending on her level of crazy next time, I may or may not blog more.


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